


Midnight Blue

by araihc



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Eavesdropping, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Loyalty, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/araihc/pseuds/araihc
Summary: Before she realized it, Bonnie stood up and moved toward the familiar voice.What was she doing? Spying on her boss?Bonnie felt a shiver go down her spine. What was she doing there, mousey, looking through the window? What was she hoping for?The story is set 3 years before the pilot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to AudreyV and Nextgreatadventure for helping me shaping this :)

Annalise heard footsteps approaching her office door.  
“Bonnie? Is that you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Come in.”

Bonnie knew Annalise wasn't alone in the room, while getting closer she could hear her speaking to someone. She entered the room cautiously and noticed right away the woman sat on the leather chair, looking in her direction. She was probably the same age as her boss and she was beautiful, with her slinky red dress, long hair and deep brown eyes.  
Annalise addressed this woman.  
“This is my assistant. Have you already met her?”  
“No.”  
The stranger got up from her chair and shook Bonnie's hand with a bright smile.  
“I'm Eve.”  
“Bonnie.”  
“I know… Annalise is always talking about you.”  
The blonde lawyer looked toward Annalise confused. Did she? About her? About what? Just for a second, her boss looked away and Bonnie believed she saw a flash of embarrassment in Annalise's eyes. In many years, she had never seen that look.  
Eve noticed what was going on between the two women and smiled openly to Bonnie. Annalise’s shield was hard to break, and this girl probably still didn’t know how deeply she had sneaked into her boss’ mind. She could tell it with a glance.  
Before the assistant could say anything, Annalise turned her face to Bonnie and asked:  
“Sam?”  
“He hasn't come home yet.”  
“Good. You need me?”  
Bonnie was feeling some discomfort, as if she wasn't in the right place or at the right moment. She shifted her gaze between the two women, then said,  
“We have to prep Tommy's cross-examination. Tomorrow...”  
“It can wait. Just go home.”

Bonnie obeyed and stepped out of the room. She was used to doing what she was told with no complaints.  
When she walked out into the fresh air, her head started spinning and her vision got blurry. She sat on the front porch, trying to breathe slowly and regularly. What was that about? What had just happened?

 _“Annalise is always talking about you.”_  
Annalise was talking about her. She was. Bonnie somehow thought she was still just an employee to her boss, someone she'd never remember or think about outside their working hours.

 _“I'm Eve.”_  
Who was that woman? She couldn't reciprocate her sentence, Annalise had never talked about her. A client? She looked more like a lawyer. Maybe she was one of Annalise’s classmates in college? A thought stabbed Bonnie: they shared an intimacy. When she had entered the room, they were smiling, widely. It was beautiful to see Annalise that way, happy, lighthearted.

Bonnie couldn’t get up. She needed one more minute to gain control of herself.  
She suddenly heard Annalise laughing, and couldn’t tell if it was just on her mind or if it was real. It was a warm summer evening, maybe the windows were open and the two women were cheerful. Yes, she was pretty sure the office windows were open.  
She never heard her boss laughing like that. Not with Sam, not with her. If she was lucky, she'd get a smile from Annalise. Bonnie would probably treasure it for a week, trying to remember how and when and where it happened. She would do anything, anything, to make her laugh, but she simply wasn't good at it. No one laughed around her, never. When she was younger, her classmates stopped laughing and joking the moment she entered the room.  
She tried though. Sometimes, she approached them, put a smile on her face and asked “What are you talking about?”. Their usual answer was “Nothing”. She got used to this. When Annalise hired her, she was relieved she didn't have to be cheerful, or untroubled. Annalise just wanted her to be clever, smart, thorough. And she was.  
But it wasn't enough, not anymore. Bonnie craved Annalise’s approval. She craved her happiness too, but she couldn't help her with that.

A grasshopper stopped singing for a moment. No car was passing by along the street, everything was quiet and muffled. Bonnie heard a vague whisper: Annalise's voice. She would recognize it in a million. Yes, the office window had to be open. She thought she heard her name, or maybe the breeze was just mocking her. Before she realized what she was doing, she stood up and moved toward the familiar sound.  
What was she doing? Spying on her boss? How could Annalise trust her again, if she knew? The window was so near, just two more steps and she would get to see, to hear everything. Annalise and the other woman were silent. One last step.

“I really have to go.”  
“No, you don’t.”

They were exactly where she left them, sat on the leather office chairs, one in front of the other. Eve was more comfortable now, her body relaxed, her hands holding a half-finished glass of vodka. Her lips said she had to go, but Bonnie could swear her eyes were begging Annalise to give her reasons to stay.

“Here’s what we do. You stay here a little longer. We finish up this bottle, like old times. You tell me about your life in New York.”  
Eve smiled lightly. “Your husband can’t see me here.”  
“Why not?”  
“You know why, he hates me.”  
Annalise chuckled and refilled their glasses for the umpteenth time.  
“He doesn’t.”  
Eve took a long sip, looking that gorgeous woman in the eye and weighing her words.  
“I called, last year. I was in Philly for one of my cases. I guess you were taking a shower, or maybe asleep, I don’t know. Sam answered my call.”  
Annalise looked confused. Bonnie, by the window, held her breath. Why did Sam hate her? Was she…? Were they, somehow…? No way, her boss never mentioned any of that. She covered for her with men, but women? Bonnie felt a shiver go down her spine. What was she doing there, mousey, looking through the window? What was she hoping for? A kiss? Did she wanted to see them make out? Fuck?

Annalise’s voice pulled her back to reality.  
“He never told me.”  
“Of course he didn’t. He was nice, at first. Really polite, you know? Then he basically threatened me. He told me to back off, get out of your life and never call you again.”  
Annalise raised an eyebrow, like she could hardly believe Eve’s words.  
“Sam? Why would he do that?”  
Eve smiled again, heading over toward the open window, needing some fresh air.  
“Stop being so naïve, Annalise. He is a man. He knows he can’t have what we had. He’ll always feel he’s not enough for you.”  
Annalise lowered her eyes to the empty glass.  
“How do you know?” She asked, but she already knew the answer.  
Eve took one step closer to the window, trying to hide from Annalise her saddened eyes.  
“This is how I’ve always felt.”

It was at this exact moment that Eve spotted Bonnie, so close to the window, trying awkwardly to hide herself behind the big tree nearby. Eve opened her mouth like she was willing to say something. Bonnie was petrified. Their eyes finally met, and each could read everything on the other woman’s face: love, sadness, confidence, self-loathing, loyalty, all of this together, mixed up and blurred and messy.

Eve nodded quietly, then closed the window behind her. She somehow wanted to protect Bonnie and couldn’t let Annalise seeing her.  
Bonnie was so disoriented now that she couldn’t even hear the footsteps approaching in the walkway.

“Bon?”  
The girl barely held herself back from screaming. She rushed toward the male voice, trying to make as little noise as possible. Sam had an amused smirk on his face.

“Sorry, I thought I saw a rat.”  
“Right? Were you chasing him?”  
“No, I... just wanted to be sure.”  
“Mmh-mmh.”

Sam was even more amused now, knowing for sure Bonnie was hiding something. He thought for a moment it could be fun to tease the girl a little more, she already seemed so close to crying... but no, he was a decent man after all. He enjoyed playing with his little mice, but he didn't want Bonnie to cry. If she'd just let him comfort her… he would have liked so much to punish her for not being a good girl, and then to show her how understanding and forgiving he was.

He removed the thought of a begging little Bonnie from his mind and asked:  
“Is she home?”  
“Yes. She's with a client.”

The lie slipped out of her mouth. Sam turned his back, ready to enter through the front door, and Bonnie realized she had to think fast.

“Sam? Would you help me win a case? I want to show you a statement, just tell me if the witness is reliable.”  
Sam thought her voice was strangely velvety, almost flirtatious. What was she doing? She knew he couldn't cross a line with her, she bloody knew that.  
“It's late, Bon. Maybe tomorrow.”  
Bonnie was desperate, Sam wasn't supposed to see Eve. She always chose Annalise’s side and now she had to protect her, couldn’t just pretend nothing was going to happen. She moved closer to him.  
“Please.”  
“You told me Annie is with a client.”  
Bonnie looked at him with the begging eyes he had dreamed of just a few minutes before.  
“We don't need her. Just the two of us.”  
He finally gave up. They entered through the front door and she escorted him into the kitchen.  
“I'm hungry, aren't you? Wait for me here. I'll get my laptop and come back in a minute.”

Bonnie ran up to Annalise's office. Her cheeks were red and burning, her heart was racing and she didn't know why. She firmly knocked at the door, then opened it without waiting for Annalise's answer. Her boss was standing next to the desk, Eve was in front of her, so close. It seemed like they were saying or kissing goodbyes. Annalise was furious.  
“Bonnie, what the hell? I told you go home, what now?”  
“Sorry. Sam's here. I thought I could show him the statement, ask for his help.”  
Annalise raised a hint of a smile.  
“Clever.”  
Bonnie wasn't so sure she was speaking about the case.  
Eve addressed Annalise. “You can join them. I was going anyway.”

Bonnie stepped out of the room, and Eve followed her soon after. She was about to wave a goodbye and walk up to the kitchen when Eve held her gently by her arm.

“You love her.”  
“No, I...” said Bonnie right away, her cheeks literally burning now.  
“It wasn't a question. Take good care of her. She deserves it.”

Bonnie looked this strong, beautiful woman straight in the eyes. She nodded imperceptibly, then turned her back to her and entered the kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is after the name of an Italian song, Blunotte by Carmen Consoli, that makes me think about Bonnie and Annalise all the time.
> 
> Song lyrics below (translation is mine).
> 
> I might not be able  
> To give you the best  
> More often you've found my efforts so useless  
> I might not be able  
> To give you the best  
> More often you've found my gestures so foolish  
> As if it were not enough  
> Giving up on myself  
> As if it were not enough  
> All the strength of my love
> 
> And I've done nothing but feeling flawed  
> And I changed all of myself  
> Because I wasn't enough  
> And only now I do realize  
> You were too scared.


End file.
